Married for 20 years. A woman for 42 years. How long has it been since I've had sex? How many years has it been since I've kissed someone? My children have grown up safely and are now in college, and my husband is kind and has let me be a housewife. I'm grateful. I love him. But I'm scared of just getting older without being touched by anyone... I want to have sex so badly, I feel like I'm going crazy. I want to go on a date, hold hands, kiss, and feel that thrill. I want to be held passionately. I'm sorry, darling. Just let me be a woman, just this once, today. Married for 20 years. My first time having an affair.